Podcast
Online World
March 2008
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 Q: When my wife and I were dating, she used to dress sexy and our sex life was hot. Now that we're married, she dresses in baggy pants and sweat shirts and the sex is lukewarm. How can I get her to dress like a sex kitten again?
A: When was the last time you made your wife purr? There's nothing like a good orgasm to convince her to dress up now and again. Hardly anyone I know, who is married, acts the same way they did when they were just dating their spouse. When we're dating we tend to do things that we know our partner likes, even things that we wouldn't do normally or would make us feel uncomfortable. Then when we're married, we're more settled in and feel that we do not have to do all of those little "things" to please our spouse because we already "have" them. See where I'm going? I bet that there things that you too have stopped doing for her since you've been married.
So what to do? Well first of all you two need to set some time away every week to add some spice back into your sex life. Try new sexual positions, lotions, oils, toys -- places to have sex. During this couple time, you could take her to establishments where she would be required to dress up, or you two could role play and she can get all sexy for you. Add the fun back in and maybe she won't feel like being in baggy clothes all the time. Plus, with more fun in your relationship the sizzle can come back into your sex life.
If you put the effort in and tell your wife how good she looks all dolled up - it will pay off in spades!
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
 Q: Can STD’s be passed woman to woman? Thank you.
A: Oh my God yes they can! I am amazed on how many lesbians I know that do not take safe sex precautions because they view STD’s to be a heterosexual and/or man to man problem.
The biggest three STD’s you need to be aware about is HPV (Genital Warts), Herpes and HIV/AIDS. Then there is Hepatitis, Lice and Yeast Infections. Practice safe sex – use Dental Damns (find in sex shops and medical supply stores – some drug stores & big shopping stores are starting to carry them too) if practicing cunnilingus and analingus. You can also use Saran Wrap (but it can get torn) and can make Dental Damns from condoms or latex gloves.
An ounce of prevention can save you a lifetime of heartache.
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
 Q: How can I get my girl to like anal sex more? She let me do it to her once, but now it's a no go.
A: Some people just like to keep an out door - out. Know what I mean? But since she at least gave it a go once means she cares for you and if approached correctly, may give it another try.
This is all about what makes her comfortable. The last time, did you use enough lube - like gobs of it? Start with sliding your fingers in first to ease her into it? Or did you use some lube and just shove your cock up her butt? There's a huge difference here. If you did the latter, no wonder she's anally shy.
Talk to her about it. Get a bunch of lube (AKA gobs), place the lube on your fingers and start from there taking your cues from how she responds. Easy in, easy out -- that'll do it. Once she realizes that there is pleasure that can be derived from this sex act, hopefully she'll let you move on to your cock being lubed up and entered. But the key to this is taking it slow and being aware at all times of her comfort level.
If you play your lube right, her out door only can transfer into a revolving door.
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
 Q: What’s the best way to talk dirty?
A: Naked and slathered up in oil. Wait – talking dirty is one of the ways you get to that point, right? I’m usually pressed for time and like just to skip the formalities and get right to the gritty details. But talking dirty foreplay is very erotic!
So how do you talk dirty without sounding like an idiot? It’s not easy to do – no matter if you talk dirty on a regular basis like me (not to other people mind you – but in my writing) or not – I still feel stupid saying some things out loud. But I do find it a turn on when my lover whispers it in my ear.
So what do you do – do you use the correct terms like penis, vagina, and breasts? Or do you head towards the slang with cock, pussy and tits? It’s really up to the person you are talking to. It’s good to be a bit shocking - that's part of the turn on.
It’s always great to start talking dirty before you hit the bedroom. Emails, phone calls, text messages. You don’t have to say much in this correspondence. Something simple but naughty. Don’t worry about sounding like a cheese wiz. All dirty talk sounds like a slice of cheese from a porn movie. Move past it.
Now if you two are already having sex - say something wicked in your lover’s ear while you’re out in public. Keep your voice low and mention how bad you want them to fuck you. Or you can tell them that you’re in the mood for a screaming orgasm – and you’re not talking about the drink!
If you have yet to get to the sex part – scream something sexually mind blowing in the heat of sex. This way if you say something off – you’ll both be so into the moment that it won’t matter. Use someone else’s words. Did you read a good erotic book, listen to an erotic story or a good movie with some sexual twists? Use the lines you heard or read.
If you or your partner says something that makes either one of you uncomfortable, speak up. If you want your partner to be more explicit or use harder language – then drop a sexually explicit word here and there and they will catch on.
Experiment and have fun with it. Talking dirty is a great way to add another dimension to your sexual relationship!
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
 Q: My husband and I were out celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. After our third or fourth drink, he let it slip that his biggest fantasy is for us to have a threesome with another woman. I laughed it off and said sure. But now I regret agreeing to it. How can I back out of this and turn him mind back to a one-on-one sexual relationship only?
A: As much as I like to drink, over the years I’ve realized when to stop drinking so that I do not answer a question in such a manner that when I was sober I regretted it. What you need to do is be upfront about your realization to your husband. Admit that you had too much to drink and when you sobered up, you regretted your decision.
The worst thing that you can do for your marriage is to go along with his fantasy. I haven’t heard of one marriage or relationship in general, surviving after a third party was brought in. So don’t buck up and play along -- speak up.
To get his mind off of the threesome, create a fantasy of your own. If a man is involved in a fantasy that ultimately leads to sex – he will be a happy man.
Don’t feed his fantasy, instead satisfy his libido!
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
 Q: I found a video my boyfriend made with his ex up on XTube for viewing. He did things with her that he hasn’t done with me. What’s up with that?
A: What’s up with him keeping the video and then trying to make money off of it? Doesn’t that bug you at all? I would certainly bring it up the next time I saw him.
If you want him to do things with you that he did with his ex, then tell him. Maybe he hasn’t figured out that you are as adventurous as his ex. Women always complain that no two women are alike (so true) and no two women like sex the same way (yepper pepper).
So since he’s not a mind reader – enlighten the poor boy. And then check to make sure he’s not recording the two of you for a future pay check!
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
 Q: What does BDSM and MILF stand for?
A: Did you come across your man's web search history? Some things are better left unknown - but you've asked and I aim to answer!
BDSM - Normally has to do with a sexual behavior between consensual adults. The sub-divisions are:
Bondage & discipline (B&D)
Domination & submission (D&S)
Sadism and masochism (or sadomasochism) (S&M)
Now that said -- BDSM may or may not include actual sexual relations or sexual role-playing.
MILF - No one knows exactly where this term came from, but many give the "American Pie" movies credit. It stands for, "Moms I'd like to fuck", "Moms I'd love to fuck", "Mothers I'd love to fuck" or "Mothers I'd like to fuck". I've been asked on several occasions if I'd be an MILF online with a web cam. All I can do is laugh:)
Now all they need for you is a FILF (Fathers I'd like to fuck)!
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
 Q: I came home sooner than expected and caught my husband with his ass on my Cone vibe! Here he was with one hand jerking off, the other hand holding him steady on the bed and his ass hopping up and down on the vibe. I backed out before he saw me, went to the bar and grabbed myself a drink. This was the same man who was as straight-laced with me in bed as could be. No experimenting, no toys, no nothing. Hell, I didn't even know he knew about my toy stash. So what do I do? Bring it up that I saw him or let it slide? Is he gay?
A: Okay, most important -- did you sanitize that vibe or pitch it? I hope you didn't pitch it, after all it's a great vibe! But if you still have it, you're really going to want to use some bacterial solution on that baby.
Is he gay? Well if the fact that he likes anal stimulation is your only clue to go on - I doubt it. Many straight men, and women, love anal stimulation. For a man, he can have his prostrate stimulate by having a finger, dildo or a vibe inserted. And seeing that I've used the Cone vibe myself, I can see why he was enjoying himself.
Did you ever think that he was embarrassed by sex toys and the kinkier things that can get him off? Although he is a man and many men are a bit more - experiential - than women, he still might have been raised to believe that sex toys and anything other than the missionary position in bed was a direct line to Satan's party room.
Don't tell him that you saw him getting off or that you know he was in your sex toy collection. Instead, the next time you two have sex, bring out a toy without asking him permission first, and use it on him. Of course if he has a complete cow, stop using the toy. But I think that with you bringing it into the picture without seeking his permission first, it gives him more of a sense that this was all "your idea" and being the good husband he is - he went along with it. This, in his mind, can save him from the gates of hell. After all, he was just being a good hubby to his wife.
So what you thought to be a complete disaster will probably ramp up your sex life and save your marriage in the long run. Pretty cool huh?
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
 Q: My girlfriend likes to watch gay porn, you know with 2 dudes getting off on one another. Could she be gay?
A: You're kidding right? What guy doesn't love to watch lesbian porn? Does that make the guy a lesbian? No. So your woman watching two men get off does not make her gay. It makes her horny!
Enjoy the porn together -- if watching two guys makes you squeamish, then go in the other room and watch two chicks get off. This way you and your girl can be hot and bothered at the same time.
Then after the porn, you two can @uck all night long!
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
 Q: My boyfriend wants me to wax my pussy. Should I?
A: Sure, why not? But tell him that you think it would be a great time for you two to share the experience. You'll make an appointment for the two of you, and he'll go first so he can show you what kind of man he is.
Once he's silky smooth and soft, you'll take the wax plunge. If he chickens out - then you won't have to get it done. It's either double or nothing.
What are the odds that your dude will want the hair ripped out around his balls?
If you too would like a shot at having your question answered in Between The Sheets - Pillow Talk's sex advice portal - then drop us an email at [email protected].
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Q: When my wife and I were dating, she used to dress sexy and our sex life was hot. Now that we're married, she dresses in baggy pants and sweat shirts and the sex is lukewarm. How can I get her to dress like a sex kitten again?
